I hate gossip!

Do not speak against one another, brethren He who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks against the law and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge of it.

James 4:11

I hate gossip!  Why do I say that?  Gossip hurts others and damages your own character.  It does not aid in building relationships.  It tears it down.  On the surface, it may seem like innocent chatter.  Nevertheless, it goes deeper.  It affects the soul of the being.

Here is the typical movie scenario.  A couple has been dating for a length of time with plans on getting married.  The scene usually centers on the guy in the movie.  His girlfriend arrives at his house and catches him hugging a girl.  She drives away never speaking with him again to find out any details.  He is left confused because he has no answer.  Everyone discusses his or her relationship.  Nevertheless, because neither has spoken to each other, it is all hearsay and what they do hear is just conjecture.

The problem with gossip is that no one is walking in the other’s shoes.  Everyone who is discussing this couple is doing it for their own reasons.  According to Couple Solutions, there are several reasons why this occurs.  Some of the reasons are:

  1. Desire for vengeance (getting back at someone because they feel pain)
  2. Desire for attention
  3. Desire to be part of something
  4. Desire to feel important or
  5. Because they just want to talk

I feel the most sorrow for the one who gossips out of vengeance.  That would be the couple in the above scenario.  Both were hurt.  Anyone who discusses it from that point forward only hinders any positive progression that could happen.

When you speak to others about someone else, what are you doing?  Are you really talking about them because you care about them?  Are you not passing judgment frequently since you should be speaking directly to them?  When someone overhears others talking about them, how do you think it makes them feel?  Do you think they might speak of ill of you after hearing it?

It becomes a vicious cycle of he said she said.  I can remember my Mom asking us if we were talking just to hear, our heads chatter.  She rarely wanted to speak ill of anyone, not even people who were hurting her.  I believe it was most probably that she understood the importance of holding your tongue.

Walking away or diverting the conversation to another line of thought is better than talking about how this person did or said that.  It is better to hold one’s tongue than to speak ill another.

He who guards his mouth and his tongue, Guards his soul from troubles.

Proverbs 21:23




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